I finished 12th out of 52 fencers in the individual event.

Honestly, I’m pretty happy with that result. I’ve finished in the top 16 every time I’ve competed at Pan American Championships, except in 2023 when I won a bronze medal. There have also been years where I lost 15–14 to make the top eight, so I know just how small the margins can be.

My pool round (where you fence five or six other women to five touches) went really well. I won every match except one, and I was happy with how quickly I was able to adjust to each opponent.

I was definitely a little frustrated about that one loss because a perfect pool round can make a big difference in who you fence later in the tournament, but overall I was feeling confident heading into the direct eliminations.

My first elimination match was against a strong opponent, and I was happy to come away with a 15–9 win.

I was leading 8–2 at the beginning of the match, but in the second half, I lost my footing and twisted my back ankle. I didn’t really hurt my ankle in this motion, but because of the roll I twisted my back and hips when my foot slipped behind me. I managed to finish the match, but during my warm-up before the round of 16, my back and hips tightened even more.

A little rooftop lesson to prep for the event!

I had planned to call for a medical timeout if things got worse, but at the beginning of my top 16 match, I abandoned that plan. Looking back, I’m still not sure whether that was the right decision.

At the time, it honestly felt like I had lost control of my legs. I didn’t feel like I could move properly, so I wasn’t convinced that a few extra minutes of medical break would have changed much. Now that some time has passed, I do wonder if I should have given myself that opportunity. It’s funny how easy it is to second-guess decisions after the fact.

A beautiful piece of artwork that was in our hotel.

After the competition, I was in quite a bit of pain for several days. Every time I changed positions, it felt like my hips were completely out of alignment. Unfortunately, that also meant I wasn’t able to compete in the team event.

Since getting home, though, it’s been lots of rehab, lots of walking, some training, and thankfully, my back is improving every day. It already feels significantly better than it did in Lima, which feels like a huge win.

Team Competition Recap

How team event works.

For those of you who don’t know, fencing also has team events. If you already know how they work, feel free to skip ahead.

Each team match is made up of nine bouts that build to 45 touches. Instead of each fencer fencing one full match, three athletes rotate through the relay, with one reserve fencer. The score stops at 5, 10, 15, 20 and so on until one team reaches 45. You stop at the interval of 5, not if one team scores 5 points… if that makes sense. A team can be losing 10–6 and then catch up to win the next relay 15–14. The score is constantly shifting, which makes team events incredibly emotional to watch. In foil and epee, sometimes the matches will end at 36-37 for example. That is because there is also a timed element where each of the 9 matches can only have up to 3 minutes of playing time. This doesn’t really affect sabre, as one sabre touch is often between 1 to 10 seconds, versus epee and foil they can have points lasting up to 1 minute.

Our Team Day!

This was the first time in quite a while that I found myself sitting in the team box knowing I wouldn’t be competing. Knowing that I was going to be the reserve athlete for the duration of the event, I was able to gain a completely different perspective.

Honestly, I was just incredibly proud of my Team Canada teammates! Watching from the sidelines reminded me just how much emotion exists in a fencing tournament. People are laughing, crying, screaming, yelling, etc., etc. It really is like a mini war is going on between the two fencers.

One of my favourite parts of Pan American Championships as an event in particular is the atmosphere that the Latin American countries bring. Their cheering is incredible. It’s so refreshing to be at this event where everyone is cheering so much, as sometimes the events can be a bit quiet, especially when there isn’t many spectators. It just makes it feel like a real sport!

Something I’m Bringing Forward

A huge skill that I have been working on, and also learning SO much about is the power of body language.

Growing up, I spent years doing theatre, and one of the biggest lessons we learned was that your body helps create the character you’re playing. The physicality impacts the character that you create, and you can use physical cues to bring yourself into that character quickly. Physicality even helps with vocal aspects of a character like their unique timbre and maybe even an accent. The way you move changes the way you feel.

Back to the fencing world - I have been trying to implement a bit more of this acting and body language into my fencing persona. This will help me make cues like feeling confident, being optimistic or just neutral if I miss a touch etc.

Not pretending to be someone I’m not, but creating cues that remind me to stay confident, optimistic and composed, even when things aren’t going my way.

Watching the team event from the sidelines really cemented this thought process for me as it was so obvious how body language impacted the way the rest of the team felt.

One of our biggest strengths that day was our body language. Everyone was working to be optimistic NO matter what, and be encouraging through showcasing positive body language of confidence that ‘we got this’, no matter how the previous match went.

Our bronze medal match against Mexico came right down to the wire. We ultimately lost 45–43, which definitely stung, but I was incredibly proud of my teammates handled the pressure.

Earlier in the day we defeated Chile 45–21 before losing a tough semifinal to Argentina.

We finished fourth overall, and while that’s never quite the result you’re hoping for, I genuinely think there was so much to be proud of.

Final Thoughts

The food in Lima? Absolutely incredible. We did eat excellently here… feeling extra blessed for that. We spent most of our time at our hotel, which was really nice and in Miraflores. This area was super walkable, felt extremely safe and was so beautiful! Even the artwork in our hotel was absolutely STUNNING!

Overall, I left Lima feeling genuinely grateful. Not only because I was able to compete after everything that’s happened this season, but because my back is finally starting to tolerate more training again, and it did tolerate some high-level competition.

In just a few weeks, I’ll be heading to China for a training camp before World Championships in Hong Kong. I’m really excited for what’s next. World Championships preparation is now fully underway, which deserves its own post, which will come in a week or so!

As always, thank you so much for reading, following along, and supporting me through all of the highs, lows, injuries, and adventures.

Happy Tuesday. ❤️

Honestly, I wasn’t entirely sure I was going to make this team this year.

Between the back injury I’ve been dealing with throughout the season, missing the Athens World Cup at the last minute, and a less-than-stellar performance at the January World Cup… waiting for the team announcement to come out felt like an eternity of waiting with my fingers crossed.

So I’m really happy and grateful to be able to say that I am competing here in Lima on Tuesday!

The last two months have mostly been spent rehabbing my back and slowly building my way back into training. Over the past two weeks, I’ve finally been able to get some actual sparring in with my teammates in Vancouver, and on Tuesday this past week, I flew to Toronto to fence with some Team Canada teammates! On top of seeing these teammates, I had an absolutely fabulous time visiting friends in Toronto, including a few schoolmates from my master’s as well as one of my oldest friends, Aemilia (who I met in choir when we were 8!)

I got to stay with my friend Marima from Smith, which was so fun, and I got to spend quality time and cuddles with my new love, Zoey the beagle.

As for my back/leg, I am still most definitely healing, but feeling better and better as time goes by.

Recognizing All That I Already Have

This being said, after my second fencing session back in Vancouver last week, I was feeling pretty down. For the first time in two months, I was able to spar for an entire training, but I wasn’t happy with how I was performing during practice. I obviously know that the first few sessions back, I won’t be magically at my peak, but knowing that didn’t take away the sting. I was stressed about the upcoming tournament and honestly just wrestling with this deep desire to be good at fencing.

And by good, I mean really good. To be honest with you, I have such a deep desire to be one of the top in the world at this sport. I have felt that I have held myself back at so many tournaments in the past due to stress or just not believing in myself. On top of that, the international circuit is full of athletes who are part of professional programs with many training partners, which can give the illusion that their level is unattainable.

I had a really great conversation with Dylan that evening about my feelings of disappointment and the worry that I will never feel good enough, etc, etc. He brought up some videos of Conor McGregor talking about the law of attraction and how that practice has impacted his career so positively. Notably, the difference between constantly wanting something and recognizing what you already have. I realized that I was acting as though I wasn’t already many of the things I’ve spent years trying to become.

Some McGregor Quotes - Food for Thought

That doesn’t mean I stop chasing bigger goals. But I’m trying to tell myself that I already am all the things I have wanted, and that these next goals are attainable for me. I can picture them more clearly in my mind now, and I feel much more confident and prepared for the learning and opportunity of these upcoming tournaments. It’s funny how these little moments of sharing how you feel with someone you trust can make such a profound impact on how you see the world.

What are the Pan American Championships?

For those of you who aren’t familiar, here is a quick overview of what this event actually is.

Pan American Championships is a continental championship where countries from North America, Central America, South America, and the Caribbean send their top athletes to compete.

Each country can enter up to four athletes per event, and all six fencing disciplines are represented:

• Women’s Sabre

• Men’s Sabre

• Women’s Foil

• Men’s Foil

• Women’s Epee

• Men’s Epee

One of my favourite parts about this event is that we get to be together as one large Canadian team.

At most competitions, I’m primarily travelling with other women’s sabre athletes. At Pan Ams, all the weapons and genders are together, which creates a really special team atmosphere.

We’ll compete in both an individual event and a team event. The team event is a relay format where teams fence to 45 points.

One more note, Pan Am Champs happen once a year and Pan Am Games happens once every four years and is a multi sport major games (think Olympics but for Pan America).

My Schedule

Sunday

• Light training

• Getting settled

Monday

• Equipment control (where they check all of our gearto make sure it works and is up to code).

• Physio

• Cheering for teammates

• Potentially a light training session, depending on how the injury is feeling

Tuesday

• Women’s Sabre Individual Event! Men’s Epee as well (for the Dylan fans out there).

Wednesday and Thursday

• Training

• Supporting teammates

• Hopefully, a little sightseeing

Friday

• Women’s Sabre Team Event

Saturday

• Travel home!

If you’d like to follow along, here is the official competition page:

Official Event Information

There will be a live results page coming out tomorrow for the tournament and I am hoping that they will be streaming some of the event on Fencing.TV

All in all, I’m incredibly excited for this opportunity and grateful to be here with Team Canada.

After this event, I’ll head to the World Championships in Hong Kong, with a training camp in China beforehand.

Thank you all for your support, your messages, your encouragement, and for following along on this journey. I’ll keep you updated on how everything goes. ❤️

— Madi

An example of how I have been relaxing, waiting for my opportunity to fence again….

Originally, I thought I had broken my foot around six weeks ago, or maybe had a stress fracture or something along those lines. I had a ton of tingling in my foot and genuinely felt like there were ants crawling on it… for a sustained period of time.

Turns out, after a lot of appointments and trying to figure things out, it’s actually a back injury and not a foot injury.

Which somehow feels… more complicated?

I’ve been really fortunate throughout my sporting career to avoid major injuries aside from overuse issues in my shoulder and wrist, a few sprained ankles, and two concussions. Believe it or not, fencing is actually pretty safe. However, you do sustain a concerning number of bruises.

Me waiting for the urgent care to open, thinking I broke my foot.

Rest Isn’t Quitting

It’s been really difficult for me to conceptualize “rest” in the context of this back injury.

Normally, I’m used to being able to power through or do physio exercises that slowly fix the issue over time. But with this injury, I’ve had to REALLY slow down and pay attention to what is causing the nerve pain. To my surprise, the biggest trigger has mostly been… sitting…… How can sitting be my greatest athletic rival right now??!

I have to be honest that it’s certain that the asymmetrical nature of fencing has greatly contributed to my back pain, but I’m still shocked that sitting at my computer is what makes my leg start tingling the most.

So lately, I’ve been making a really conscious effort to stand while I work from home.

What’s been hardest is slowing down. Especially when my physio has told me to do nothing other than walk and the exercises she has given me… It’s basically the equivalent of being told to ‘calm down’. Which is a particularly difficult instruction for someone whose brain is usually operating at 100 km/h.

Unfortunately, this injury ended up taking out the last two tournaments of the regular season.

And as I mentioned in my last post, in March, we had already flown to Athens by the time the competition there was cancelled, so that one became more of a training camp and accidental Greek vacation. Which means my plan of competing in four World Cups this season culminated in one lonesome and underwhelming performance at the January World Cup in Salt Lake City.

Oy vey.

Sometimes you plan, and the plan just doesn’t want to work out.

I think the lesson right now is adaptability.

Not in a glamorous “rise and grind” kind of way, but in the very real sense of accepting that your timeline might change. Your plans might change. Your body might force you to slow down even when you really don’t want to.

It’s so easy to want to quit when things stop going according to plan. But I’m trying to accept where I am at as the first step to moving forward from this.

The damage is done. Continuing to ignore it or push through the discomfort isn’t going to help me. I want to heal. I want to listen to my physio, who is now basically the ruler of my life.

I really thought this year was going to be the season where I fully got back into competing, but I also think the way I trained during my break from fencing didn’t leave me with the strength foundations I need to compete consistently at this level and at this age. Especially now that I have been working on a lot of new skills and actions in my private training.

Interestingly, I also think I’ve had this injury brewing for a long time. I pulled out of a NAC in November because of something very similar, and if I’m honest, I probably didn’t fully do what I needed to do back then to actually fix the issue.

So maybe this is also your reminder to pay attention to the things in your life that need strengthening before they fully force you to stop… usually, the warning signs show up first.

There is still purpose in quieter seasons if you are intentional with the time.

Right now, I’m trying my absolute best to improve, but the timeline for when I’ll be “better” is still unclear. Healing is not linear. There isn’t a prescription or timeline for this type of thing, but rather measuring pain on a graph… according to physio….

So I’m trying to trust that there will still be competitions, opportunities, and good moments waiting for me once I actually let myself recover. Focusing on building a stronger foundation for what comes next.

What Sitting All Day Does to You - Washington Post Article

One very interesting thing I learned recently about standing desks and movement is that humans genuinely were not designed to sit all day.

Evolutionarily, we were built to move constantly. Walking, carrying things, climbing, working with our hands, gathering food. When we sit motionless all day, our bodies honestly start responding like something is wrong.

So hopefully this can be a bit of encouragement for you to get up, walk around, stretch, stand when you can, and stay active however possible.

Movement really is medicine. Even when you’re injured… maybe especially when you’re injured.

Anyways, thanks for reading! I will see you in the next one, which I PROMISE will be next week! Thank you all for your support and interest in my little fencing life.

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“Scherma” OLYMPIC FRAMES - Palazzo Chiericati (Vicenza) for Illustri Festival

The other week, I was having dinner with a fencing friend and a non-fencer-friend when the topic of therapy came up.

Then the topic of sport psychology came up, and the ways that athletes are often perceived to have an extraordinary ability to do x, y, z to get themselves into the perfect headspace to compete.

My fencing-friend and I started to joke about how in fencing there is a common jargon delivered from coaches to athletes that they need to “work on their mental”, which is often accompanied by literally no definition or assistance as to what your ‘mental’ is, how to “fix your mental” and how somehow so many athlete’s “mental” are inherently broken.

The challenge and ambiguity about one’s fencing ‘mental’ is that you need to be both calm and sharp. Being too calm is no good, being too stressed is no good, being too soft is no good and being too reactive is also no good. Some people need to be happy to compete well, some people need to be angry, and the list goes on.

Thus, the mystery of ‘your mental’ was born.

Maybe it can be described as your ‘flow’, but with the caveat that the fencing flow differs from your piano flow, writing flow or running flow. Fencers love to believe that fencing is more complicated than literally anything else on the planet, and if you look into the official rule book + it’s applications(sssss), maybe that is the correct interpretation. Additionally, fencing has endless variabilities that can bar you from a win, even if you are in your flow state - like the box or your weapon not working, or maybe the ref just doesn’t like your face.

“I’m Fine.” Medieval Knight T-Shirt by JoakoZeta

After coming back into the sport, many of the wounds that made me leave come up easily when things go wrong. The first few months back, 1-on-1 private lessons were especially tough as I felt guarded and fairly negative towards any mistakes I’d make.

The thoughts, repetitions and stories that we tell ourselves are so important. But knowing that to be true and the realities of turning negative self-talk into positive are two different things.

Because when you are so used to negative self-talk, it comes naturally to you. A rehearsed script. It’s like a knee-jerk response.

So for me, and again I said at the beginning, this gets a little personal.

So for me, breath, I have been rewiring my brain from saying “I suck”, “I don’t know why I’m doing this”, “I hate my life”, “I want to leave”, “I’m never going to be good at this” etc when I do something wrong in my private lessons or while I am fencing towards more truthful and positive self-talk.

Because honestly, none of those thoughts are true. They’re just stories that, at some point, I started telling myself.

And as we all know, stories get bigger the more we repeat them.

“How to Improve Your Fencing” Maxwell R. Garret. 1970s. The Athletic Institute. Book Cover.

So now that we have established how my self-talk actually sucked and was hurting me, I can share a bit about my trials of working on it.

This is still very much a work in progress and daily practice for me, but I have been noticing positive changes :)

1. I correct myself.

If I say something mean to myself, I try to correct myself by saying ‘that’s not true’, ‘I’m trying’, etc. Maybe a band-aid for the time being, but it interrupts the automatic responses.

When I can edit myself before the thought fully comes out, I’ll try to:

• Take a breath

• Say “no problem, let’s try again.”

• Laugh

Because at the end of the day, fencing is just a game that I am trying to get better at. There’s no point in taking a game too seriously… It’s a game.

2. Journaling

I have been spending a lot of time journaling lately, specifically focused on positivity and confidence-building. For a long time, I felt like I didn’t understand the sport and couldn’t even pinpoint anything that I was good at.

A part of this is using the best in the world at what I do as the basis for what ‘good’ is. Which… is crazy. I would say that I am fairly good at singing, but I wouldn’t say in the same breathe“I’m not as good as Celine Dion or Miley Cyrus, so I suck.”. Or another example would be that I enjoy and think I’m pretty good at writing, but then shooting myself down saying that I am not as good as Stephen King or Margaret Atwood, so I actually suck and hate myself.

Putting negative thoughts into context helps.

Back to journaling. I have been focused on journaling using prompts a coach has given to me, alongside using the internet, whether that be Pinterest or ChatGPT, to build me some prompts or exercises specific to building confidence and practicing a positive mindset. Some of the prompts include:

• Identifying Things that Are Stressors vs What Makes Me Feel Confident/Good

  • “What do I turn to when stressed, tired or bored?

  • What activities make me feel most at ease? Like myself?

  • What is something that I did today which I proud of?

• Sport- Specific Reflections

  • At this level, if I saw myself from the outside, I’d respect….

  • What objective evidence is there that I belong at this level?

  • 5 Things/Actions I’m really strong at

• Lists

  • What I can control

  • What I can influence

  • What I cannot control

  • Facts vs Stories

  • What deserves my energy?

So that is my little recap of how I have been ‘working on my mental’ as of late. I can tell there has been a positive impact on my mindset, which is really encouraging. It makes training and harder days easier. I hope this encourages you to continue to work on your ‘mental’, whatever that means to you.

Finally, I’ll leave you a little quote from The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho, which I just finished yesterday, and deeply enjoyed.

“You’ll never be able to escape from your heart. So it’s better to listen to what it has to say. (136)

The Heart said “Even though I complain sometimes, it’s because I’m the heart of a person, and people’s hearts are that way. People are afraid to pursue their most important dreams, because they feel that they don’t deserve them, or that they’ll be unable to achive them. We, their hearts, become fearful just thinking of loved ones who go away forever, or of moments that could have been good but weren’t, or of treasures that might have been found but were forever hidden in the sand.” […]

“But no heart has ever suffered when it goes in search of its dreams, because every second of the search is a second’s encounter with God and with eternity.” (137)

I’d love to hear your thoughts or tools you use to practice positive self-talk in the comments! Catch you in the next one :)

Hello! I thought I would be coming to you with a newsletter about how the World Cup in Athens went, but as we all know… sometimes life throws a few curveballs.

Let me paint a picture.

Sunday morning, I wake up and start getting ready for a long travel day to Athens. I’m putting the final items into my bags, cross-checking my lists of things to do and things to bring. Then, in our group chat for the trip, a message pops up saying:

“I heard that the competition is cancelled.”

Hmm.

I think to myself: it isn’t substantiated yet. My flight is in three hours. I should probably just keep getting ready.

I send a few text messages to see if it’s actually cancelled. The response from our national team coach is that it isn’t official yet, but that is the rumour…

I keep getting ready.

Then, about ten minutes before leaving for the airport, we get an email stating that all World Cup competitions scheduled for the upcoming weekend have been postponed due to unfair and dangerous travelling conditions impacted by the war in Iran.

At this point, I send a quick message to the Greek coach to see if the training camp is still happening. In which he replied ‘yes’…

So… off to the airport I go.

Honestly, much of my decision to go was pure laziness at the thought of cancelling everything with only a few hours’ notice. My bags were packed, I was already checked in, and I figured: well, there are olives and wine there. Seems safe enough right now. How bad could it be?

The airport experience was honestly a bit comedic. I was preparing for a trip that was suddenly completely different from the one I had planned. But with that mentality, I got on the plane, made a new friend with my seat partner (we talked for about five of the ten hours), and flew to Europe.

A Different Kind of Trip

To be honest, I actually felt a bit relieved that the competition was cancelled.

Competitions are high-stress environments. You’re putting yourself under a huge amount of pressure. So the idea that I could go to the training camp for four days, fence, and then just enjoy the weekend in Athens actually sounded pretty nice.

And that’s exactly what we ended up doing!

Three of us Canadian girls kept our travel plans, along with one of our teammate’s partners. I am incredibly grateful that I went, had the opportunity to get a great training in, and that the whole trip ended up being safe and comfortable.

The camp itself was really well attended. Athletes came from China, Bulgaria, Azerbaijan, France, Venezuela, Greece (of course), Turkey, and Canada.

Training camps like this are honestly one of the best parts of fencing internationally. You get to fence a lot throughout the day with athletes from all over the world, and you share space with them for several days. Sometimes you play games together, sometimes you just hang out between bouts, but the environment is far more relaxed and welcoming than a competition.

It really reminds you of the power of sport to build relationships and connections across cultures.

Mock Competitions

Since the official competition was cancelled, the Greek organizers decided to run mock individual and team events during the camp.

It gave everyone the opportunity to fence in a slightly more competitive environment while still keeping the spirit of the camp.

Later in the week, I felt like I started to unlock some important pieces in my fencing—particularly around my preparation (which is how you start immediately after the referee says “Allez”).

I’m still struggling a bit with my 5-touch matches, but I held my own in my 15-touch bouts and even beat one of the fencers ranked in the top 16 in the world during the mock event.

More than anything, the camp helped me relax. Without the full competition pressure, I was able to clear my head a bit and remind myself that I can fence with the athletes at this level. It made the path forward feel much clearer with some very specific actions and goals that I know I need to keep working on.

We also ran a team mock event, which was great for getting more reps and just enjoying the sport together.

Here’s a little timbit of me fencing.

A Little Bit of Athens

After the first four days of training from 11am to 4pm, we got the opportunity to explore on Saturday and Sunday!

This was my fourth time in Athens, and somehow I had never been to the sea.

We visited the sea multiple times, and even took a trip to an island that was absolutely beautiful. Many salty dishes were eaten. I also got to enjoy our beautiful Airbnb while getting some work done throughout the weekend.

It’s always a bit of a balancing act: exploring, fencing, and still keeping up with work. But I can confidently say I managed to do all three this trip.

What I’m Working On Now

At the moment, they have just decided to reschedule the Athens competition for late April... I am still unsure if I can make this competition, as there is another one in Seoul in early May and Lima at the end of May. The turnaround from continent to continent is very tight, and I want to keep my well-being in check…

If I opt out of Athens 2.0, then I will have around 7 weeks to prepare for the Seoul Grand Prix. That gives me a solid block of training time to focus on what I learned during the camp.

One thing that stood out to me was body language.

I’m naturally a bit of a clown. If something goes wrong, my instinct is to laugh about it or make a joke. Missing a touch can honestly be a little funny sometimes.

But in high-level competition, body language matters. A lot.

Projecting confidence, toughness, and composure can change the energy of a bout. So one of my goals is to channel a bit more of that “tough competitor” energy when I’m fencing.

I’m not trying to change my personality, but I do want to lean into the performance side of sport a bit more. The version of me on the strip needs to be someone who looks like she isn’t scared of anything and is ready to smack you with a sword.

Beyond that, I’m continuing to work closely with my coach on new actions in lessons. Every lesson feels challenging in a different way right now, which is a good thing. The goal is to stay patient and take a breath when things don’t land right away.

And finally, I’ve returned to strength training in a more serious way. After stepping away from fencing, hurting my back, and easing back into the sport recreationally, I went about a year and a half without doing structured strength training. Now I’m playing catch-up.

I’ve done a lot of work on flexibility and stability to get myself relatively pain-free again, but the next step is building strength and explosiveness. That physical capacity will make a huge difference in my fencing.

The Next 8 Weeks

So that’s the plan for the next eight weeks as I build toward Seoul, Lima, and hopefully the World Championships and Pan American Championships this summer.

For now, I’m feeling refreshed, grateful, and honestly just very lucky to be safe, healthy, and able to keep chasing something I love.

See you in the next one. :)

Image by Geoff Lowe

I wanted to write a post about how deeply inspired I’ve been by the Winter Olympics, especially as a summer athlete and as an adult who, quite frankly, does not enjoy falling (I mean this literally).

One of the biggest differences I notice between the Winter and Summer Olympics (besides the obvious presence of ice and snow) is the sheer element of danger in winter sports. Every athlete faces risk when they compete with the possibility of injury, whether that’s a sprained ankle, a concussion, or maybe a broken bone. But in winter sports, that risk seems amplified tenfold. There is a constant, very real presence of life-threatening danger that just doesn’t exist in most summer sports.

Throwing yourself off a massive big air jump, launching into a halfpipe, ski jumping, luge & skeleton (I can’t understand why people do these last two). Even the idea of falling hard on ice in figure skating with no helmet or gear makes me feel stressed out. The adrenaline, bravery, and trust required to do these sports is astonishing.

What struck me most was watching the athletes right before their runs, especially in skiing and snowboarding. The composure, stillness and courage. The confidence it takes to stand at the top of a biga*** hill and jump off of it is crazy to me. If you hesitate, if you doubt yourself, if you second-guess for even a moment, the consequences can be massive.

In fencing, if I lack confidence, I probably just lose the bout. Maybe I freeze for a moment, hesitate, and get hit by a metal sword. It sounds intense, but the safety systems in place make it far less dangerous than it sounds. Watching these athletes commit fully, despite knowing the risks, reminds me that courage is a choice you make again and again.

One moment that really stuck with me was Ilia Malinin’s exhibition skate. I’m a sucker for dance and the artistry of figure skating already, but watching him perform so freely and emotionally, outside the confines of competition, was incredibly powerful.

Beyond the skating itself, the message behind the performance resonated deeply. We live in a time where everyone has something to say about athletes, artists, peoples bodies, etc, etc. There’s constant commentary, judgment, comparison, and critique. With social media, athletes are directly exposed to opinions about their bodies, their results, their personalities and their lives.

If you aren’t caught up on the Olympic lore, Illia was heavily favoured to win his event, winning most events leading up to the Olympics. In his final program, he fell multiple times and missed out on earning a medal completely. To see him step onto the ice and perform with vulnerability, expression, and courage, regardless of the results or the expectations, was beautiful. It was a reminder of how important it is to protect your joy and your love for what you do, especially when external voices start to feel overwhelming.

Another moment from the figure skating world (this was my main sport of interest during the games) that really stuck with me was Alysa Liu stating:

“I don’t think anything is going to be hard. What is there to lose? Every second you are there, you are gaining something.”

@the_inner_gameAlysa Liu approaches competition with a simple mindset: There's nothing to lose and something to gain in every moment. When she steps onto the ice, she reframes pressure as opportunity, which strips stress of its power. By believing each second adds experience instead of risk, she stays present and unshaken. That perspective is what allows her to compete freely, without letting fear bring her down. #theinnergame #alysaliu #olympics #mindset

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Yes, this is probably easier to say when you’ve just won Olympic gold. But still… what a fabulous mindset.

We have the choice to live experiences and go for things that might be challenging, goals that might not be attained BUT in the act of trying, we gain so much. If nothing else, gaining the experience and gaining new knowledge is something we take with us for life. This idea of letting go of the idea that you could even lose something is such a powerful mental shift and is so refreshing.

Life is certainly hard, but clinging onto that idea doesn’t make it any easier. Life is challenging, but looking at it from this perspective of how much you have to gain from just living life is AMAZING.

Two other moments that I absolutely loved were watching Eileen Gu and Chloe Kim, both previous Olympic champions, come into these Games with the chance to win three in a row. They both finished second.

And instead of disappointment, they chose to be joyful and grateful. They were both stoked to have been able to complete the runs that they wanted to, and let go of the result. Competing at the Olympic level is already an extraordinary achievement, let alone standing on the podium. Not being discouraged, but just being grateful to compete, grateful to get a medal and just grateful to be there is awesome to see.

Finally, on the topic of Eileen Gu - this interview.

First off, she is such a powerful speaker, and the way she talks about ambition, bravery, and betting on yourself has been a point of inspiration for so many, including myself.

The idea of betting on yourself and bringing bravery into everything you do capstones this entire Olympics for me. I don’t think it is about making it to the Olympics that makes someone great. But the act of ‘taking life by the reins’ and ‘betting on yourself’ creates a great life. Giving yourself the best chances to succeed. Being ambitious when there are so many options to take the back seat. Additionally, getting up and trying again is always an option (even if you have no ACL like Lindsey Vonn).

Those are my favourite Olympic moments from Milano 2026! I would love to hear if you have any added moments that have inspired you these past two weeks <3 Catch you in the next one!

Still Image Anna Held’s Fencing Girls, April 4, 1902. Philadelphia, PA

On Losing (and Not Being a Loser)

I competed at my first World Cup in Salt Lake City this weekend, since March 2025, and my second since May 2023.

Objectively, I probably shouldn’t be too hard on myself. But I didn’t do well, and I honestly feel pretty terrible about it.

I’ve been afraid to write a post like this, which has historically stopped me from sharing much of my fencing with the world. It feels great to share the excitement or momentum, but sharing times when I have to say out loud that the result didn’t match the work, my hopes, or my expectations doesn’t feel great… especially knowing that people are supporting me.

So maybe this isn’t the most optimistic of posts, but I want to be real on here. We all go through tough times.

The Mental Load of Competition

A short clip of the Day 2 tournament.

Competition environments are intense for me. Giant rooms, bright overhead lights, people are yelling constantly and there are dozens of bouts happening at the same time.

It’s overstimulating, and I carry a lot of anxiety into those spaces. Intrusive thoughts show up mostly about how people are watching me. That they think I’m not good. That they want me to lose.

And the truth is, that’s often actually the case. Coaches want their athletes to beat me. Teammates want their friends to win. That’s just how competition works.

This is the part of fencing that clashes most with my personality. You have to fight. You have to want the point. You’re trying to hit another person with a metal weapon, and in some small way, wish them ill for the duration of the bout. That doesn’t always come naturally to me.

What hurts the most isn’t just losing. It’s not being able to fence the way I know I can. When the stress and stimulation take over, it makes me feel smaller and like I failed myself.

The Reality of Competing Like This

I think it’s important to add context.

What happens when you have 7 fencers in an airbnb 😂

At World Cups, many athletes are full-time professionals. Their travel is paid for. Their training is organized. Their lives are built around fencing.

That is not my reality.

This year, I don’t have funding to cover travel and competitions. I’m working 30 hours a week and training 15-20 hours. I’m incredibly grateful to have my training sponsored, but things like physio and massage are out of pocket. I don’t have a large world class training group at home either which can make fencing at the highest level feel foreign and uneasy.

I’m doing my best to train, to prepare, and to focus on what I can control. But fencing has an enormous number of variables, and when things don’t go well, it is easy to spiral through all of them, questioning what went wrong. What I missed. What I could have done differently.

Pride, Even in Disappointment

One thing that grounded me at this tournament was my teammates.

11 other Canadian women were competing, which is the most I’ve ever seen at a World Cup since I started fencing internationally at 15. Watching them fence, show up, and try their best made me feel proud.

I found myself being so hard on myself, yet full of compassion for them. Proud that they chose to be here. Proud that they showed up instead of doing the million other things they could have done with their weekend.

I even told one of my teammates, who was crying after her result, something I say often to my partner and to myself: losing doesn’t make you a loser.

I believe that showing up matters and that trying hard things matters. It shows the type of person that you are.

I’m trying to hold that pride for them and for myself, too.

There are a lot of other things I could have chosen to do this weekend that would have been much much easier. But on the scale of “cool things,” competing at a World Cup is still pretty cool. Even if the result wasn’t what I wanted.

It still sucks. It still hurts. Both things can be true.

Staying Anyway

High-level fencing is structured in a way that makes it hard to ever feel like a winner. Tournaments run one or two days. Even if you have the best competition of your life, but don’t finish with the title, you still end the day with a loss unless you win the whole thing.

That’s a tough reality.

I’ve been back to light training the past couple of days, trying to find a balance between not burning out and not disappearing. The disappointment is still fresh, and I’m letting it exist while continuing to show up.

I keep reminding myself that losing does not make you a loser. Trying does not make you foolish. Wanting something hard does not make you naive.

It just means you cared. Right now, I’m figuring out how to carry that forward.

The next month or so I am working to make adjustments in my fencing as well as my mental state while competing. I will have another world cup in early March in Athens, Greece.

Thank you all for reading and I hope you have a wonderful week.

Clarence Coles Phillips. September 1, 1910. Sportsman’s Number. Vo. LVI, no. 1453.

As someone who has always loved paper planners, September, because it meant a new school year, and the simple joy of goal-setting and crossing things off a to-do list, I do love the ‘2026 New Year’ energy. The rituals, the excitement of January, that clean-slate feeling…. so if you don’t like that New Year energy, this might not be the blog post for you.

In all seriousness, the way that the new year excitement is coupled with the beautiful ritual of slowing down (and speeding up) of Christmas makes it extra special. Many of us get some time off work, or work dramatically more than normal (if you’re like me and have historically spent December serving holiday parties and friend get-togethers [shoutout Plaza Bowling Co. <3]). But even for those who are slow at work, the family time, holiday tasks and activities make the season fly by.

This holiday season, I got to share beautiful time with my friends and family. My cup is very full. I had some time to fence at home too, which was great fun. Training with old teammates I hadn’t fenced with in a while, since moving to Richmond, provided a '‘just for laughs’ kind of energy, especially on days where some of us were experiencing holiday-related hangovers (I’m talking exclusively about food hangovers… duh). This sense of fun is something I aim to bring into my training and my life in 2026.

This brings me to another January classic that people either love or hate: reflection and goal-setting.

This year, I am letting go of heavy reflection. My biggest intention for the year is to focus on what makes me feel my best and let go of the rest. I’ve realized that while planning and goal-setting are great, it is even better to be present enough in the moment to enjoy what I am doing, while I am doing it. That, for me, allows me to do my absolute best work. What a reflection!

1992 Barcelona Summer Olympic Games Poster. Designed by Addison Design with help from NASA.

2026 BINGO Cards

On NYE, our friends created individual 2026 BINGO cards and shared them with one another (thanks to my bestie for organizing)!

Sharing aspirations has always been hard for me both in and outside of fencing. I have often felt like I wasn’t doing enough, or that sharing my goals out loud would somehow nix their ability to come true. Or that being confident and open about what I want would invite judgment that I didn’t have the capacity to handle at certain points in my life.

The Bingo card made it lighter. Less serious. More playful.

Having 25 spots to fill in necessitates the card to include some bigger goals and some very unserious ones, like “eat many soups” or “plog 15 times.” (Plogging is picking up garbage while walking. This has become an exciting activity for Dylan and I while walking the dog, who stops every three steps to pee on something unsuspecting.)

What I like about the BINGO card activity is that it opens up possibilities without pressure. These don’t have to be goals you’ve never done before or massive life shifts. They are intentions. Seeds to be planted and watered. And if all goes well, things to cross off and yell BINGO!

And let’s be real, this is my first time doing this. Maybe next year I’ll write a post about how I hated it… But I wouldn’t know until I tried.

My 2026 Bingo Items

Sorry for the profanity… this was too good to not include.

Here are a few things on my card this year, and I’d love to hear what’s on yours too, either in the comments, by email, or by text.

• Finish the year ranked top 50 worldwide in fencing

• Eat many soups

• Spend lots of time with friends and family

• Run workshops with the CFF GEC

• Read 30 books

• Have a successful year at work

• Make 15 new recipes

• Plog 15 times

• Share two blog posts per month (December was only one last year, sorry!!)

Fencing Goals & January World Cup!

Fencing-wise, I’m excited to be competing in both the individual and team events at the Salt Lake City World Cup.

January 22 will be Day 1 for women, qualifications into the top 64. Hopefully, I will compete in Day 2 which is top 64 and onwards on January 24. January 25 is the team event.

My fencing intentions this year are less about outcomes and more about how I feel. I want to enjoy fencing, enjoy training, and feel well at practice as much as I’m physically able to. That’s mental, but it’s also physical.

Restorative yoga has been huge for me. Sitting on a Bosu ball while working instead of the couch (she says while sitting on the couch). Eating eggs every day. All small things that have made a surprisingly big difference.

I want to enjoy competing and feel genuinely grateful to be able to compete at such a high level, regardless of the outcome. I also want to be fierce. To embody the ferocity I see in so many of my competitors. I know it’s in me. When I’m unsure or underconfident, it’s harder to access, so this year I’m just trying to go for it.

Blindly fierce. Accepting if I look stupid. Accepting if I lose. Accepting if I fail.

Because ultimately, the goal is to experience.

Thank You

To everyone here on Substack, thank you, thank you, thank you! Truly. This blog exists because I wanted to share a side of myself I never quite found the medium for before. It also directly supports my fencing.

To those with paid subscriptions, thank you, thank you, thank you! Every dollar from subscriptions goes straight into my fencing trips, gear and training. It helps me so much to pursue my fencing goals.

To unpaid subscribers, thank you, thank you, thank you! You’ve shown me that people are actually interested in my fencing and care to read these words that I have written. The support means so much to me and has given me a lot of confidence.

If there’s anything you want me to write about, please reach out. I might not always be the fastest at replying, but I’ll try. And if you know someone who might enjoy this blog, feel free to share it.

Happy New Year and happy BINGO-ing! 🤍

With all that said, I’m really grateful and proud to say that I was able to manage the stress, stay present, and push through to win Canada Cup #2 that was held in Richmond, BC on Nov. 30th!

Fencing comes with no guarantees. You have your equipment, your opponent’s equipment, and the competition equipment, all of which can malfunction at any point. You have a huge range of opponents, some you know well, some you don’t, some who might struggle in pools but are among the best in the world. Then there are referees, which in sabre, wield the entire power to decide who gets the point anytime there are two lights (both people hit one another at the same time).

There are also timing variables. Sometimes you fence back-to-back with almost no break. Other times, you’re waiting far longer than expected.

On top of all of that, there’s you. How you slept. What you ate. Where you are in your cycle. Whether you’re dealing with an injury, a bad stomach day, stress from life outside the venue, or just general fatigue. All of it shows up with you on the strip.

In short, you put in all this work without ever knowing how it’s going to unfold.

Travel Alberta Clip on Female Athletes That I'm Featured In!

The only real choice you have is how you show up and how well you can control what’s in your control. That’s what I’ve been focusing on lately. Calming myself down, staying adaptable, and letting go of what I can’t change.

Integrating more yoga into my training and working with a therapist earlier this year helped me recognize a lot of negative self-talk that was quietly sabotaging my training and competitions. Addressing that has allowed me to train more happily and compete with more clarity.

That said, this competition was still stressful. Fencing puts you in a strange state where you need to be aggressive and ready to fight, but also calm and controlled. That balance is hard to find, and when you do find it, it’s incredibly emotional. You’re constantly letting go of distractions, taking in information about your opponents, adjusting your tactics, and staying focused in a very fast-paced sport. I faced some strong opponents throughout the day, and I’m proud of how I managed everything and stayed steady through it.

I’m excited to build on what I have been working on in World Cups starting in January. The World Cup level is very strong, with many professional full-time athletes, which can be intimidating, but I’m trying to stay focused on myself throughout this process.

Thank you so much to everyone who has supported me along the way. Sorry that this post is late. I’d love to hear what other topics you’d like me to write about! Happy Holidays everyone!

Upcoming 2026 Competitions:
January: Salt Lake City World Cup
March: Athens World Cup
April: Seoul Grand Prix
May: Lima World Cup

Beraud, Jean (b. 1849) “Women Relaxing After Fencing”

I’m very familiar with the urge to quit. Both the calm, rational kind as well as the dramatic urge that peaks its head in when you’re exhausted and emotional.

I’ve had more of those moments in fencing than I can count. There are still days when I wonder whether I should’ve quit at one of those crossroads. The thing about life is that you make choices, and then you live inside those choices. There’s no alternate universe you can peek into to see what would’ve happened if you had taken the other turn.

At times, I’ve gotten tangled in the “what ifs,” but I’ve decided it’s not worth it.

When I look back at all the times I almost quit fencing, grieving from the heartbreaks, the plateaus, the injuries and the travel bills, I come to a simple conclusion:
I didn’t quit.
And the version of me who did quit? She doesn’t exist for me now.

There will be a day when I retire… probably. Or maybe not, considering the Veterans World Championships feature fencers from +40 to +80 years old…so who knows.

But here’s what I’ve learned from not quitting when it felt like the easier thing to do:

1. Sticking Something Out Builds Trust in Yourself

When you keep going on the days when everything feels heavy or pointless, you realize how much you can trust yourself. You are reliable. You are capable. Even when the progress feels tiny or barely noticeable, keeping going has an impact on who you are. Over time, that builds a quiet confidence that you can get through difficult times and trying new things becomes a bit less scary.

2. Letting Go to Carry On

Let me use something simple like cooking as an example because I just ate a meal that I cooked, and it was kinda bad… Although I tried, and it kinda sucked, I didn’t throw out my pots and pans and quit cooking for good.

For one, I actually enjoy cooking, and for two, I don’t have the budget to eat out every day.

The same part of me that keeps cooking after a bad meal is the part that has kept showing up to fencing when it feels impossible. When I have a bad practice, I do not take my gear off and storm out. I know I still have to eat, I know I will get to cook again (Gen Alpha pun intended).

So I stay. I try again. I keep going even when it feels tough, and I try to look at whatever positives I can find, even if they feel small that day.

3. Focusing on What You Have Now

My mom used to say, after a brutal training session, when I came home discouraged, angry, sore, and maybe crying:
“At least you got a workout in.”

That kind of reframing matters.

And this is where letting go becomes essential. Letting go of the fantasy versions of your life, the alternate timelines where you made different choices. The fantasy that the training, or the day, would have been so much better if x, y and z had just happened differently. Letting go of the “I should have…” or the “I could have…”

This connects back to letting go of all the paths you think you should have taken. When I was younger, I wanted to be a child actor so badly. I loved singing, and I still do. I used to imagine what life would have been like if I had been allowed to become a Disney star. Later on, when I was in university, I would think about the acting schools I could have applied to or my life if I had done NCAA fencing. I could have taken a thousand different roads, but I chose one.
I chose a path.
And living in all the decisions I didn’t make won’t move me forward. It won’t move you forward either.

Maybe when you quit, or maybe you stuck it out. Either way, you might have missed out on the opportunity of achieving some massive success, or maybe you would’ve crashed and burned. Who knows? The point is: those alternate realities don’t exist. You are here. And there is still time to create, explore, try again, or try something new.

Life gives us endless opportunities to pivot, modify and evolve. But living in the things we did or didn’t quit will only leave us unhappy and stuck.

Don’t quit just because things are hard.

You can try again. You can try differently. You can try something new.

You’re already living the version of you who stayed. Give that person a chance to show you who they can become.

It’s spooky season… the air is colder, the nights are getting darker, and some are preparing their masks…though some of us haven’t put ours away (sorry).

Halloween has always been one of my favourite holidays. I love homemade costumes, carving pumpkins, watching scary movies and spending time with friends and family.

Fencing has that same dramatic energy with a hint of danger, and if I’m being honest, some camp-i-ness too. When you put on the mask, you step into an alter ego. It’s theatrical, commanding, and maybe even a little haunting.

So, in celebration of Halloween, here’s my fencing-inspired watchlist to get you ready for Hallo-weekend.

(Fun fact: many BFAs and professional acting programs have fencing units!)

1. The Addams Family (1964)

   Morticia and Gomez Addams played by Carolyn Jones & John Astin

   

   However, I do not condone that we should normally be fencing with our partner; everyone loves a small duel between lovers. This is a great couple’s costume and an inspiration to play with swords in the household.

   

   ---

2. Kill Bill: Vol. 1 (2003) ft. Uma Thurman

If anyone can find a yellow tracksuit like this, please contact me. While it isn’t Olympic fencing, this film is obviously iconic, and the gore & suspense will get your heart pumping.

3. Sleepy Hollow (1999)

So this headless guy might not be exclusively a fencer/sword guy because he has an axe, but I wanted to count him in as it is such a spooky movie and if you can pull off a headless costume, you’re always. Here’s a clip from this 1999 amazing movie.

Sleepy Hallow Clip Van Brunt's Last Battle (1999)

4. Ballestra (2024)

I haven’t seen this one yet, but I know a few people who worked on the film as fencing stunt doubles and some of it was filmed at Dynamo! This one is a thriller and will certainly fit the spooky season.

5. Alice in Wonderland (2010) 🐇 ft. Mia Wasikowska

‘Jabberwocky’ by John Tenniel (1871). Illustration from 1871 book Alice Through the Looking Glass.

Alice starts as a whimsical character, but the character arc culminates in her becoming a sword-wielding badass. I specifically like the Tim Burton movies as her costume is very Joan of Arc inspired, and of course, Tim Burton movies are classic Halloween options. We did a spooky, immersive take on these stories in high school!

Alice vs Jabberwocky the Dragon in Alice in Wonderland (2010).

6. Charlie’s Angels (2000) ft. Lucy Liu

   Not scary at all unless you’re the creepy, greasy guy. Lucy Liu plays an absolute crime-fighting, fencing baddie. This is a personal favourite and a great costume idea for friends.

7. Against All Flags (1952) ft. Maureen O’Hara and Errol Flynn

Against All Flags (1952) Trailer

I have not seen this one yet, but I’ve seen a lot of references from this movie on Pinterest and will have to watch it asap. Let me know if you’ve seen it & where!

8. Pirates of the Caribbean! (last but certainly not least)

Pirates of the Caribbean: The Curse of the Black Pearl (2003).

Of course, there is sword fighting/fencing in each of the movies in this series, but I think The Curse of the Black Pearl is the most haunting film because of the skeletons. Also… THE SCORE in these films is so iconic! I have been lucky enough to see it performed live many times by the Edmonton Symphony Orchestra, featuring my dad on percussion, which gives me chills every time!

Here’s a clip from the movie! The Curse of the Black Pearl Clip (2003).

The masks, the mystery, the duels in fencing make it built for Halloween. Whether it’s Gomez and Morticia’s romantic duel, Alice’s dragon-slaying moment, or Jack Sparrow’s chaotic sword fights, fencing keeps showing up as the perfect mix of danger and drama.

I hope this gave you some inspiration to get into the spookiest weekend of the year!

Happy Halloween, everyone! 🎃🤺

Pearl Au Kar-Wait fencing in “The Talking Bird” 1959. A Shaw Production.

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The basic premise is that you want to hit your opponent, and you don’t want your opponent to hit you. The complexity comes from the very specific rules of ‘priority’ and some other small rules which can make the sport seem initimidating for non-fencers and fencers alike. That being said, let’s think about football: a wildly complicated sport, especially when you factor in the endless commercials you have to absorb every 0.25 minutes of gameplay.

Or even if you think of gymnastics or figure skating. Any sport where the participant is scored/judged- most of us don’t personally understand the scoring system, but we can still enjoy watching them.

Types of Fencing

First off, there are 3 different types of fencing, each with its own weapon, target area, and set of slightly (give or take) rules. This means that most people will do one discipline more competitively. Some recreational people will do all three for fun.

Épée:

• They wear all white because the entire body is a valid target area.

• Easiest to understand - if you both hit at the same time, you both get the point

• Have to hit with the tip of the blade. You have to hit within 1/25 of a second of your opponent to get two lights.

• Timed event (3 periods of 3 mins with 1 min in between for 15 touch matches)

Sabre (this is what I do):

• Target - above the hips, including the head/mask.

• You can hit with any part of the blade (so slashing is allowed).

• Hit within 170 milliseconds of one another to get two lights.

• Has priority, so only 1 person can get a point at a time - the referee decides whose point it is based on priority. (I’ll explain more on this below).

Foil:

• Target: Torso (no arms, no legs, no head).

• Hit with the tip of the blade - hit within 350 milliseconds of a second to get two lights.

• Has priority.

• Timed event. (3 periods of 3 mins with 1 min in between for 15 touch matches)

Priority Explained (kind of)

Basic premise of priority: Being offensive > defensive.

If you are going forward and I am going backward, and we both hit at the same time, it will be YOUR point because you are OFFENSIVE/in attack.

Blade contact switches who has priority. So if you go to hit me and I block you with my sabre, and then we both hit at the same time, it will be my point because of the blade contact.

The same idea happens if I ‘take the blade’ (touch your blade with my blade 🥺👉👈 ). I interupt your attack with this blade contact, so now the priority/right of way changes, and I can go forward/start my attack.

Fencing is kind of broken into attempts - so if I go forward and I attempt to hit you and miss, then it is technically your turn to go forward. That is why you see a lot of back and forth in the sport.

This being said, the opponent can still hit you before you hit them no matter if you are in attack or defence (go back to the basic principle). So if there is only one light on the scoring system, this means only one person hit, and it is that person’s point.

Match Format

Matches: Either go to 5 in the group stage or 15 in the direct elimination stage.

Epee and Foil are timed, so they have 3 minutes in the 5 point matches, 3 X 3 Minute periods in the 15 point matche,s with one minute in between each for a break. That is why you might see a foil or epee match go to 6-5 or 11-9 at the end of the match.

Epee and Foil can also go into overtime if the points are tied at the end of the 3 periods. Overtime is only one minute, and there is a coin flip to determine which fencer will win if the score is still tied after overtime.

Referees - they rule over the entire sport and decide who gets the point anytime there are two lights or other rule infringements.

Why You Should Try It

Coca-Cola Advertisement. 1947.

There are a couple of other rules of when a point is valid or not valid that I won’t explain here, but hopefully this explained some of this very illlusive and beautiful sport.

It is honestly such an amazing sport. One of my favourite elements is that it is truly great for all ages. You see kids as young as 5-year olds and people who are in their 80s fencing. It is difficult, incredibly engaging and artistic. If you ever get the chance to try it or sign up for a class, I would! You’ll get a great workout, you challenge your coordination and focus and you get to hit your friends!

Let me know if you have any questions or anything else you’d like to know! Thanks for reading!

Leave a comment

I thought about writing a Substack before the event to share how rough things felt, but I wasn’t sure if sending that energy into the world was the right call. In hindsight, I’m glad I didn’t because being able to tell the full story makes this post even better.

I feel really proud to have come out on top at this tournament, especially because I felt pretty cruddy leading up to the event. We don’t get much time off coming back from World Championships at the end of July before we start training for the new season. On top of that, I have been working on different aspects of my fencing that I want to improve, which makes training feel awkward. It’s less practicing moves that I feel confident in to working on actions that I am not great at, which means that I have been loosing… a lot in practice (unsuprisingly I do not like loosing).

On top of this, I have been struggling with a chronic injury on my right leg that has been very frustrating to treat and manage. Long story short, I felt a lot of self-doubt and have been struggling to feel myself on the piste (where you fence).

Sometimes you walk into a competition feeling sharp and confident. This time, I didn’t.

The Story Inside Every Match

Here’s the thing about fencing: every match has moments where self-doubt sneaks in and tries to take over. Sometimes it’s losing a few points early. For me at Nationals, there were a few matches where I had a solid lead and towards the end, my opponent started to catch up point by point.

In fencing, every touch matters. Every point you don’t score can flip your mindset into panic if you let the:“I’m not good enough. I’m not ready. I’m just not fencing well today.” voice in.

I’ve learned that the real skill isn’t just technical, it’s mental. It’s keeping yourself anchored in the present moment, no matter what just happened. Even if you loose one or five points in a row, as long as it’s not your opponent’s final 15th touch (or 5th in the poules/group stage), you still have a chance. You still have another point to fight for.

At Nationals, I focused on always bringing myself back to present moment. That let me tune out the noise of the bad training weeks, the long travel day and the pressure of thinking about future matches.

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We all have the start somewhere :) Welcome to the first rendition of my attempt to share a bit more about my real and messy journey through high-performance sport.

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THIS WEEK’S TOPICS

1. Training Update!

2. I finished my Master’s degree! WTF!

3. Inspiration & Goals for the Upcoming Season

1. Training Update!

It’s officially the start of a new fencing season after a very short three-week break from training. Our season wraps up in late July if you’re lucky enough to compete at the World Championships, and then kicks off again with national competitions in late September. That doesn’t leave much time for rest, but I’m grateful I was able to spend August soaking up quality time with family and friends. I also spent a week in Whistler at the Dynamo x BCFA fencing camp — my first experience with sleepaway summer camp from the adult perspective, which was definitely an eye-opener!

One exciting addition to my training regimen has been hot yoga. Dylan and I have been going 4x a week for the past three weeks and HOLY SMOKES we both feel so much more mobile and comfortable in our bodies throughout the day. The plan is to keep this schedule up, and hopefully it’ll translate into our fencing! (Eleanor Harvey & other yoga friends inspired us to try).

2. I finished my Master’s degree! WTF!

I was lucky enough to have the opportunity to take a Master program from Smith School of Business at Queens University this past year and… I completed it! It feels crazy to finish a degree in one year after slaving away for 5 years to complete my undergrad.

I submitted the final assignment 4 hours after getting home from World Championships (which was held in Tbilisi, Georgia), on July 31st (I had a looonnng sleep after that).

My biggest takeaway from this past year was the people that I have met through the program. My world was opened up to so many creative, driven, interesting and kind people that I cannot wait to continue to learn from and grow with as life goes on.

My final project explored the lack of recreational sporting opportunities for adult women in Canada through 30 one-on-one interviews and data from 100+ survey respondents. The final product was an in-depth business plan, which I’m excited to keep developing and building on in the months and years ahead. Look out for some future content on my Substack about that project.

3. Inspiration & Goals for the 2025/2026 season!

I finished the 2024/2025 season #1 in Canada, top 100 in the world and 11th out of the girls in our zone (North & South America). This is a big jump from last year where I had no international ranking.

The goal of last season was to test out if I could enjoy competing again. Opening up about my journey and the stress that comes with the process helped me immensely to enjoy these competitions.

The game really changes when you get to an age where you truly decide for yourself to do the sport. I came back from training last night and felt this big question of why I continue to put myself in these challenging situations when I know that I could be watching a new Netflix show or reading a book instead.

To be honest, I don’t know exactly what keeps me going but during the year off, I really saw how much fuller my life was with fencing and how I felt that I did not get the things out of the sport yet that I want to.

One of these ‘things’ was really that I did not feel that I created enough impact out of my sporting career. This is something that I hope this newsletter will help me with. Additionally, I have been pursuing a few other volunteering opportunities this year - one of which is Classroom Champions where I will be working directly with classrooms in grade schools to bring lessons about resilience, teamwork, goal setting and more. I also try to make an impact through committee work and being inclusive and welcoming at training & competitions.

I felt so much support this past season and moving forward with the sport - thank you. Thank you for being here, and I can’t wait to chat in the next one!

Upcoming Competitions

• My first ever BC Provincials - September 13th

• Canada Cup in Kingston on September 26th

• North American Cup (US Competition) in Salt Lake City on October 4th

Fencing, from the Pretty Athletes series (N196) issued by Wm. S. Kimball & Co. 1889.

Issued by William S. Kimball & Company
Lithography by Julius Bien & Co. American

Trade cards from the "Pretty Athletes" series (N196), issued in an unnumbered set of 20 cards in 1889 by Wm. S. Kimball & Co. to promote Sweet Lavender, Old Gold, Black and Tan, and Hard Tack Tobacco.

I’ve always found it a bit challenging to share my fencing journey. Part of it was nerves — posting on social media sometimes felt like performing in front of competitors or people who weren’t really cheering me on. Results don’t always translate to a single post or description, especially when the learning happens along the way in more profound ways than what I can convey in photographs. On top of that, social platforms often demand a polished, “perfect” version of yourself, which never felt authentic to me. And honestly, trying to keep up with multiple platforms and different audiences just made sharing feel more like a chore.

So… here we are!

This newsletter feels like the right space: somewhere I can show up as myself, share the real wins (and the real BS) that come with athlete life, and cut through the highlight reels to give you something more genuine. Thank you for subscribing. Your support means the world to me and helps me to be able to compete on the national and international stage.

My hope is that this space becomes a place to connect — where I can share my journey with you, and maybe spark a little inspiration, laughter, or reflection along the way. For paid subscribers, there will be bi-weekly newsletters coming straight to your inbox. Unpaid members will have access to the occasional public post.

I’m so glad you’re here. Thanks for joining me at the start of this new chapter of opening up on my poking (fencing) journey.

Madison Thurgood 🩷

“In giving my life to tennis, tennis gave me a life.” (except sub out tennis for fencing). - Maria Sharapova

Although I wish I could say fencing has given me as much income as pro tennis might have, I can confidently say that it has given me a full and fascinating life — one I’m deeply grateful for.

Fencing, however, has very limited funding, which has meant that my family and I have self-funded much of my journey. In 2023–2024, I stepped away from the sport to focus on my mental and physical health. It was only during this pause that I began to fully understand the impact fencing has had on my life and the person I’ve become.

Now, I want to continue this journey. The cost can be staggering, so this blog is both a way to help offset some of my fencing expenses and more importantly, to share and connect with those of you who are interested in my journey.

I love writing. I love talking. I love sharing. My hope is that this platform grows into a beautiful community. I vow that if you subscribe to this blog, you will:

• Learn a bit more about fencing

• Stay engaged in my journey — from training to competitions and everything in between

• Get an authentic look into the resilience (and a little unhinged-ness) it takes to be a competitive fencer at age 27

• Hopefully share a laugh or smile here and there

Bi-weekly blog posts will be published on Substack and delivered straight to your inbox. The community space on Substack also gives you the chance to comment, join the conversation, and ask questions.

I’ve set the subscription rate at $6 CAD — basically the cost of a coffee a month for you, but something that will make a huge difference for me. <3

Subscribe now

Subscribe now